An Update

This morning I woke up and checked my e-mails. I had 28 messages! I thought what’s going on? I usually only have three or four messages. I started opening up the e-mails and they are saying things like ’be strong’  ‘we’re with you’  ‘don’t give up’  and ‘our prayers are with your family’.  I called my son Jamie and find out that Steven is back in a rehab. You see, my family doesn’t say anything to me when they hear something upsetting about Steven because they don’t want to hurt me and they know how worried I am about Steven and how much I love him. Eventually I find out what’s going on from complete strangers. Even Jamie doesn’t know which rehabilitation center Steven is in. I don’t know what happened with him with Jamie told me that he voluntarily went into a rehab, but other than that even he knows nothing. I looked on the Internet and see that he has canceled his world tour. I also have a call into my daughter-in-law Carolina. But as of now no return call. It is sad to say but in Steven’s world I do  not exist! We have had many problems through the years but no matter what, I am still his mother and I love him very much. I can take his mental abuse toward me because of my love for him. I don’t care what anyone says. All a mother wants for her child and he is My child is to be safe and healthy and have the best that life can bring them. I’m glad that he has gone into rehab. There was a time when I was so ashamed but not anymore because now I know that he has a disease and I know he can be helped. I wish I could help him but I also know he is the only one that can make things better for himself. I hope he knows that I love him very, very much and if he needs me , all it will take is a simple phone call. Please say a prayer for my son Steven and for me and my family. We can use all the prayers we can get! I will keep you posted if anyone calls me. It’s true when they say the ones that love the most are the last to know!




21 thoughts on “An Update

  1. I’m so, so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. I’ve followed Steven through the years and was hoping this time he would remain clean. My only brother passed away as a result of his 25+ years cocaine addiction..As a mother and grandmother my hope and prayer for Steven is to get better. Please convey my love. To you Deanna, I send my love, thoughts, understanding, and prayers.
    Vicki Campbell

  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you as I sit here at my keyboard — I hope that Steven finds healing and peace and that he finds his way back to his family. Peace and blessings to you.

  3. Pingback: An Update | Right Here In The Passenger Seat

  4. He’s really lucky to have you & that unconditional love. I know how it feels to be in his position; one of the hardest things is the guilt you feel toward your family. I really hope he gets well and happy in himself.

  5. Addiction is a selfish, self-centered disease and a very demanding mistress. It hijacks your morals and integrity, leaving you empty and shameful. Failure is not in how many times you fall down, but in refusing to get back up. Steven is where he needs to be. My prayers go out to you and your family, and this time your “Sweet child of mine,” will be home for good.

  6. You are right- it IS a disease and he is the only one that can help himself. He has to want it. And there is NOTHING to be ashamed about. He is SO blessed to have you as his mother! As a mother myself, but also as a recovering addict, I understand both sides. I’ve been there. Where he is, but I understand the complete unconditional love of a mother. There is nothing else like it. Stay strong. Warrior on Mother! Praying for you all!!!

  7. Your words are incredibly powerful and riveting. We give birth to our children and we nurture them and love them; ultimately, they make choices….as much as we try to stop them or get them off that road … they are the ones that are in control. My thoughts are with you — thank you for being so honest and open.

  8. Hi Deanna,

    Please don’t take not having a place in Steven’s world personally. In my own addiction I pushed people away too but not for lack of love. The people closest to me were a reflection of all I could have been and I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in their eyes. I hated myself for it and would distance myself. Every boy needs his mother, rock star or not.

    Your family is at the center of my prayers.


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