Depressed Days

I don’t know why but today I was very depressed. Nothing unusual happened, I’m not worried about anything but periodically I go into a deep impression. It usually lasts only for a day and then the next morning I wake up and I realize I have no reason to feel that way. I guess I start to think of all the mistakes I’ve made through the years and how I wish that I could undo them. I know I can’t but sometimes the memories hurt so much. I think to myself that I’m not going to make any more mistakes but I still do. I start to think about Steven and how I watched him try to destroy himself with drugs. What kind of mother does that? I’ll tell you what kind! A mother who was so in denial about what was going on around her and even when he told me he was just going to visit friends that I actually believed him or should I say I wanted to believe him so much. I’m so glad that that part of my life is over. I’ll never forget those days. I wish I could but I can’t. So periodically I go in to a bit of depression and this was one of those days.

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8 thoughts on “Depressed Days

  1. Hopefully there’s a bit of sun in NE Ohio, so go for a walk. Looking back will always cause pain, so stop doing it. Get fresh air, think about how good life is around you now, and thank God for what you have.

    Trust me, I know … leave yesterday where it belongs; behind you.

  2. Ah. That happens to me too. I go into a dark place and it too lasts about 24 hours. It’s weird how life can be fine and then ill catapult down in my soul temporarily and feel so hopeless. I found a great post on depression from hyperbole and a half blog. It was funny and soooo truthful.

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